Solo parenthood is the most natural thing in the world

Worried about her fertility declining, Leanne’s research into egg freezing in her early 30s led her to TFP Wessex Fertility, where she pursued solo parenthood. Now Mum to “her lucky Penny”, she says it’s the best decision she ever made. 

Leanne's story

For maxillofacial dental nurse Leanne, 32, turning 30 was a pivotal moment. Newly single and aware of the impact of her age on her ability to conceive, she began to worry about the natural decline of her fertility.  

“I’ve always wanted to be a Mum but never met someone I could see myself settling down with,” she explains. 

As a self-confessed reality star addict, Leanne was no stranger to the concept of egg freezing and decided now would be a good time to start looking into whether it was right for her.  

“It meant that parenthood would be on my terms.” 

Leanne’s research soon led her to the concept of solo parenthood, building her family with the help of a sperm donor.  

“I was approaching 31 and knew that if I waited any longer to meet someone then I’d likely be 35-36 by the time I was trying for a baby,” says Leanne.  

As she was considering the treatment option, IUI (intrauterine insemination), also known as artificial insemination, Leanne turned to the people in her life for advice and learned of someone who had recently pursued solo parenthood through a mutual friend.  

“I contacted her on Facebook and explained that I was looking into IUI and asked if she could tell me a bit about her experience. She said she’d also looked into IUI but had decided on IVF as the success rates were much higher.” 

Carrying out her own research into IVF with donor sperm, Leanne decided that IVF would give her the greatest chance of success and that solo parenthood meant she didn’t need to wait for the right person to come along.  

“I realised that there are plenty of people out there who split from their partner after having a baby and end up doing it alone anyway.”  

“They built us an annex in their garden – we're never leaving!” 

As an only child, Leanne has always been close with her parents and having recently moved back into the family home, she knew she needed their approval before she went any further.  

“Their opinion really mattered to me, and they were both fully supportive of the idea from the moment it was mentioned,” she says. “I think they both envisioned my life panning out differently, but they agreed that being a Mum would be the making of me, and I deserved to have someone to love and for them to love me.” 

With her parents on board, Leanne decided to get the ball rolling and booked herself in for a consultation at the Meyer Clinic in Chichester in June 2023.  

“Unfortunately, I didn’t warm to the consultant I met with at the Meyer Clinic but she had mentioned that she also worked out of TFP Wessex Fertility so I booked myself in there afterwards. 

“It was a completely different experience. I went in with a list of questions and the specialist answered every single one of them as she was taking me through my options. She also had print outs that helped me visualise how the treatment worked and reassured me that if it didn’t work the first time round then there were other things we could try.” 

“He included a lovely goodwill message that said the door was always open.” 

With the results of her fertility assessment indicating she was in good fertility health, Leanne was able to start treatment immediately. The first step in her journey was to find her sperm donor.  

As part of her treatment with TFP Fertility, Leanne was tested to check if she was a carrier of CMV. With a negative result, it was recommended that she choose a sperm donor that had also tested negative.  

“Ideally, I had wanted someone with brown hair and blue eyes, but all of the donors who matched that criteria had tested positive for CMV,” explains Leanne.  

“Looking back now, it was narrowminded of me, but I felt that I was spending a lot of money and wanted my child to look like me too. 

“I was starting to feel despondent, but my friend pointed out that if I had met someone organically, I wouldn’t have refused to have a baby with them because they had brown eyes.” 

To keep Leanne’s hopes up, her friend encouraged her to broaden her spectrum and eventually pointed out a donor that had brown hair and brown eyes. 

“Reading his profile, I felt really emotional. He was married with three children and sounded like a really kind person. It was nice to know that if Penny wants to learn more about him when she’s older then he is open to it.” 

“We called her Basmati from insemination day as it looked like a grain of rice on the scan.” 

By August 2023, Leane was ready to begin her treatment, starting with a short course of hormone medication to stimulate her egg growth. 

“I couldn’t administer the injections myself, my Mum had to do that, but I didn’t experience any noticeable side effects from the medication, so I found the process fairly easy.” 

Following a series of monitoring scans to assess the growth of her follicles, Leanne’s eggs were ready for collection. During the procedure, 24 eggs were retrieved from her ovaries. 18 of these were fertilised with the sperm of her donor, “Michael”, using a method called intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) where a single sperm is injected directly into the egg to maximise the chance of fertilisation.  

At TFP Fertility, embryos are grown in an incubator for 5-6 days until they reach the blastocyst stage and are ready for implantation. By day six, Leanne was left with five healthy embryos.   

To give her body a short break from the hormone medication, her embryos were frozen and safely stored until the end of October when one Grade A embryo was thawed and transferred into Leanne’s uterus. Two weeks later, a positive pregnancy test confirmed her treatment had been successful and in July 2024, baby girl Penny was born. 

“She was made with love and a little bit of science.” 

With four embryos still frozen, Leanne feels comforted that the opportunity for her to try for a sibling for Penny remains open. Though, as an only child herself, she admits that she doesn’t feel like she missed out on anything by not having a sibling.  

“Never say never but right now Penny is enough for me. Everything was so perfect the first time that I almost don’t want to tempt fate and risk a heartbreak a second time around.” 

As she prepares for Penny to turn one, Leanne reflects on her journey as a solo parent and what this means for her family as Penny grows older.  

“I couldn’t have done this with without the support of my family and friends, but it is the most natural thing in the world. I had a brief moment where I worried about what people would say and then realised that if someone can’t accept my decision they don’t deserve to be in mine or my daughter’s life.” 

“These days, it feels more common for a child to not have a traditional family of a Mum and a Dad. When she starts school, I’m sure she’ll have friends that have two Mums and no Dad or two Dads and that’s perfectly normal.  

“I’ll always be honest with Penny and make sure that she knows she’s loved no matter what.”